26 Feb Choosing a therapist
Reading Time: 3 minutesIt can be a bit of a minefield.
It’s not easy to decide who you should talk to about the most private, intimate and secretive aspects of yourself that you might never have talked to anyone else about ever before. You might feel quite alone and wonder where to start. It can be a risk finding someone to help you, but it can also be a delight when you do find someone who really hears you and is able to hold and contain the worries you have without judging you or betraying you.
So how do you go about finding a therapist or counsellor you can trust to help with your worries and not judge you in any way?*
There are several key aspects to consider: qualifications, accreditation, experience and whether someone recommends them.
Qualifications
Qualifications are important. You need to know that they have had training in the area you want to discuss. Do they have a qualification that is at a good level, such as a diploma, a degree or a master’s qualification from a university? Is the university or training organisation one that you might recognise? How long was their training? Ideally, it should be more than 2 years old and include a clinical element.
Accreditation
Accreditation is good. They should be registered with a professional body, such as BACP, UKCP, BPC, BPS, IOP, COSRT, NCPS, BAAT or another organisation that can validate their qualifications and experience. Being accredited doesn’t guarantee ethical practice, even though they should adhere to the professional body’s ethical framework.
Experience
Experience is not always about length of service. Check if they have been able to demonstrate they’ve worked in a variety of organisations, including during their training.
Now, if the counsellor or therapist you are considering says they can address a variety of issues and work in a variety of modalities (ways of thinking therapeutically about your problems and how they might help), I would be wary of anyone who claims they can handle many issues. It might mean they have spread themselves too thinly, haven’t specialised or focused on one or two areas in their training, and may not be able to help you in the way you want.
Look for someone who specialises in what you are trying to deal with. It might be grief or bereavement, so a bereavement counsellor is good, same with trauma, find a trauma specialist or with sex and relationship issues, find a couples counsellor or psychosexual therapist. Find someone who can really speak to you about what it is you are having difficulty with, such as anxiety or depression, or emotional regulation. Look at what they can do and whether they have written about it, so you know they have been able to speak about what they know.
Recommendations
The most effective way to know that the counsellor or therapist is right for you is when someone can recommend them. Ask your friends if they can recommend someone. You will be surprised how many people have seen a counsellor and not talked about it.
If someone makes a recommendation, it doesn’t always mean they will be a good fit for you. Give the counsellor or therapist a call. See what they sound like, see if you feel comfortable talking with them and see if they suggest anything that resonates with you in a way that becomes a thought-provoking moment; you might be on the right track in finding the right person for you.
The counsellor or therapist has to feel right for you. If they don’t feel right, choose someone else. You don’t have to be persuaded to book an appointment with them. They shouldn’t be a “salesperson”; they should be able to contain how you are feeling and hold you steadily without judging or pressurising you in any way.
Ultimately, they should offer you an initial session and let you choose whether to continue with them. And if you don’t wish to continue with them, they should be able to help you find someone better suited to your needs.
One last piece of advice: do not outstay your time if you don’t want to continue with them. If you feel uncomfortable in any way, tell them, and, if needed, speak to someone else about how you feel to get a reality check on what they think is happening. You might choose a close friend, a parent, or another counsellor to talk to for their opinion. Don’t be afraid to challenge your therapist or counsellor. They should be able to take it, hold your challenge, and process it with you.
I wish you all the very best in finding the right person to help you.
Here are two other websites that might help:
If you would like some free advice on finding someone, I’m happy to help. Just contact me here.
*There is a small caveat on whether you are doing something legal that will harm someone else. So, you need to review their ethical guidelines to see how they can help you.
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
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