04 Sep The best of you

Bringing the best of yourself to your home life can be, at times, quite a challenge.  We endeavour to strive to deliver the best of ourselves to our work and our career. We aspire to present our best work to the people we work with on a daily basis. We give the best of ourselves to others to show how good we are at what we do.  We might even encourage others to bring out the best in them, to pull out their strengths and inspire them to achieve the best they can realise in themselves.

If we bring out the best of ourselves in our work, then is there enough energy to summon the best in us at home with our family. Do we really offer our partner or our family the best of us after a long working day? Do you have enough of the best in you left for the evenings and weekends to strive to achieve excitement, the challenges of home life, the duties that call upon you to maintain your house, your relationships, intimate love for your partner?

Many of us just seem to want to relax, do nothing and recover from our week’s work. That’s fair enough. If we’ve worked hard, don’t we deserve a break? We may need time and space to unwind,  just to recover from giving our all during our working hours. If you’ve given yourself to your work, are you bringing the best of yourself to serve your family, to bring the best of you to your partner during that time when you just need to relax? If you don’t have enough physical, emotional or intellectual energy left from the week, then you might need to consider re-prioritising what’s important to you.  While you are relaxing, are you offering the best conversations to your family, are you encouraging towards your partner, are you engaging with your children from a relaxed position, appreciating the time you have with your immediate family, acknowledging what they are offering you? If not, then time can pass by, slow at first, then you might start to wonder where the time has gone, and then you realise you’ve missed out and it’s too late. So don’t miss out on an opportunity to bring the best of you to your family, do something amazing with them that shows the best of you.

Knowing when your not your best

Recognising when we aren’t bringing the best of ourselves to others or even to ourselves can be hard to accept, especially if you’re stuck in a pattern of believing that’s what you should do each time you need to “switch off”.  Switching off doesn’t mean you have to stop the best of yourself coming out.  When you switch off, do you recognise when you are turning off the best side of you?  We might be too tired to contemplate bring the best of ourselves out during the time we have at home.  We might get agitated with the smallest of things, shout at the ones we love, ignore their wishes for attention, avoid making time for them, just because we feel we haven’t got anything left to give.

Are you delighted when you’re not the best you can be to others or yourself? If not, then start to bring a small spark of the best of you out to the ones you love, and wait to see the how this can change them and change your happiness. Hopefully, it will be a positive experience, and sometimes, all it takes is just a small gesture of the best of you to create something unusual.

So what’s the best of you look like?

Bring the best of you out

We all have different gifts, characteristics, unique attributes, strengths, that are the best of us. And there are a variety of qualities, too numerous to mention, that could be the best in you. But do you know what the best is for you? If you’re not sure, write down your strengths, your positive attributes that others see in you, that you see in yourself.  What do other people in your life appreciate about you?  Make a list and see what’s inside you.  Ask a close friend and your partner to make a list of your attributes as well. Ask them what they also appreciate about you.  Then compare the lists. Appreciate what’s on each list as these are the many areas that are the best of you.

Creating more of the best of you

But what do we do when we feel we’ve given our all to our work and there’s nothing left for our family?  Here are some areas that might encourage you to think about bringing the best of you out into the open.

1. Giving to others

   We might be offering the best of ourselves in our work during the week, but think about giving your best during the evenings and weekends with your partner and family.  You might feel that this takes effort, but don’t they deserve the best of you as well.  You might be able to relax more in giving the best of you, to provide the spark of encouragement, excitement, generosity, love, passion for the ones you love.  Give without expectation of receiving. The best gift is to be able to offer oneself to others without hope of something in return.

2. Receiving from others

   While we might offer out the best of ourselves, accepting the best from others can be just as hard. Be willing to take the help and encouragement from others, especially from the ones who love you.  Be magnanimous in receiving as well as giving. Encourage your family to be able to receive the best in others, however that might look or how little it might be. Appreciate their offer and accept it by being gracious in taking the best they can offer at that very moment in time.

3. Be forgiving

   Try not to let your ego take over by thinking you’re too good for others, or the opposite of not being good enough. Is that being the best of you? Be forgiving with yourself for being too hard on yourself.  Be forgiving with others who don’t show the best in them all the time.  Be honest about what you can do and forgive yourself for not being your best all the time.  Be open about this with your family and partner, so they can understand that you might be going through a hard patch.

4. Rewarding yourself and others

   Be honest with what you can do and reward yourself for offering the best of yourself to your partner and family.  Praise others as well for seeing the best in them.  Be open about how beautiful it might be to see others achieve the best they can be. Reward yourself by acknowledging your achievements, however small and gracious. Reward yourself from the comments received from others about how they see or have received the best of you. Accept them with appreciation and worth, to know what good you have done for others.

Whatever your approach, bring the best of yourself to your family and bring the best of yourself out when with your partner. They deserve to see the best of you, too. So shine when you can, as time is precious.

Photo by Annie Spratt