04 Sep Why write an emotional journal?

Writing as a therapeutic tool

Since the lockdown, many people have struggled with stress, anxiety and thoughts that can become so overwhelming they cannot sleep.  Many men I have seen have struggled to communicate how they feel to their partner and have been unable to gain clarity on what they are thinking, unable to make clear decisions or to say what’s on their mind.  With all these thoughts and feelings, we can all feel overwhelmed. We may also feel numb and be unable to think about anything. We may even be fearful of our state of mind.

One way to help yourself through these difficult situations is to write things down. Now, the writing I’m suggesting is not about thinking about writing. This writing is like a journal for your mind. You don’t need to worry about spelling, grammar, or what your handwriting looks like; this is just for you. There is no pressure to conform to any “rules” on how you should write, as the only audience who needs to see this is you.

How does writing help?

Numerous research articles and books have discussed the benefits of expressive writing, whether in the form of a letter to someone they haven’t been able to speak with, in a journal, or in a notepad. The act of writing can help reflect on your psychological, emotional and physical well-being. It can also help you to aim for your future goals or dreams. Even if they don’t seem realistic at the moment, there is always a way forward. Writing is a potent tool to help you express any situation you might struggle to understand. It’s also a way of releasing pressure from your mind by externalising your thoughts — like a mind dump, making the inaccessible accessible.  It can also help increase your self-worth, confidence and motivation.

James Pennebaker is one of the pioneers who linked writing to helping people recover from trauma. He found that disclosing traumatic events helped many people during therapy ¹. Over a few days, expressing their experiences through writing helped reduce their health complaints, stress, and trauma.

More recently, many other studies found that expressing difficult emotions through writing or video narratives helped reduce anxiety and worries. Some of the studies identified expressive writing reduced stress in young people with cancer ², and reduced anxiety for children living at boarding school ³. It also helped reduce PTSD related to pregnancy ⁴, helped the psychosexual well-being of women with a history of childhood sexual abuse ⁵ and helped heal heterosexist experiences ⁶.

In my clinical practice, I’ve seen individuals adopt writing to change how they see their inner world, how they cope with concerns and how disclosing their hidden emotions and secrets they’ve held for some time reduces stress, anxiety and depression. I’ve also seen how keeping a journal can help individuals make sense of themselves, give meaning to their relationships with others, and understand how certain events have impacted them, gradually changing how they perceive themselves and the world around them.

Whether you believe that or not, if you feel overwhelmed, out of control, and worried about the same things, depressed about your situation, feeling there isn’t a way out, or feeling no one understands you, journaling your overwhelming emotions might actually help reduce these experiences*.

Keeping our emotional side hidden can be harmful, even destructive, if we don’t find an outlet for how we might be feeling.

What do my patients say about keeping a journal?

Using a journal really helped me to process how I was feeling and give me an outlet for my problems. It also helped me reflect on those issues and understand why I had felt that way. I wrote my final entry about my previous relationship last night, reflecting on what that relationship did to me, how it affected my behaviour, and how far I've come in terms of self-esteem and confidence since then. I intend to burn it as a symbolic gesture of letting go of the past and moving forward with my life but will continue to keep a different one for any future difficulties in my life as I feel it works very well for me.

This quote is from a patient I saw for short-term therapy, during which we explored various approaches to address his concerns. Writing about his overwhelming thoughts and feelings enabled him to keep track of his uncertain relationship. He could “see” what he was thinking and what challenges he faced to clarify his reality compared to his imagined state of mind. As he reflected on his thoughts and situation, he knew something had to change. This change made him feel more stable and calmer, giving him clearer choices that he could now make.

How do I write in the journal?

If you want to start expressing your thoughts in writing, here’s what to do.

I would like you to spend about 15 to 20 minutes each day for the next week writing down precisely what you are thinking and feeling*. What I mean is that I would like you to jot down whatever comes to mind, whatever feeling you are experiencing, and whatever thoughts you are having at that moment. Write about what’s going on for you at that moment. Think of your pen as a direct link to your mind.

As I mentioned before, don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or how your writing looks. Just get your thoughts out. If you feel stuck or can’t think of anything, write, “I can’t think of anything right now”, and the thoughts should start coming along.

Writing can help you understand your overwhelming feelings, providing some order and clarity about how you truly feel about your situation. You must be honest with what you are writing. Don’t think about what you are writing; write what’s on your mind.

As you write, consider the stories you have constructed about your life so far. Imagine your life as a book or novel to help identify critical points in your past.

Writing is about finding meaning in the chaos of your thoughts, creating meaning where there might be confusion. 

If you are stuck about what to write, here are some guidelines.

Day one – Write about what is overwhelming you most in your life right now, or write about what’s on your mind at that moment. As you write, you might tie these feelings to an event, person or situation in your past. How do you relate to this event in the past? How does it relate to who you were in the past? Who would you like to be in the future? Who are you now? Remember, you are writing this for yourself only and no one else.

Day two – Focus on your overwhelming thoughts as you did yesterday. Don’t worry if you feel you are writing about the same thing. You could also write about a different event, feeling, or trauma. Continue to focus on your emotions and thoughts about the circumstances affecting you right now.

Day three – Continue to explore your deepest emotions about the events, trauma, and experiences that are overwhelming you, or you can choose something different to write. Start to think about how this upheaval is affecting your life right now. How might you be responsible for some of the effects of the turmoil?

Day four – Continue exploring your deepest emotions and thoughts, focusing on whatever is overwhelming you, such as any issues that have caused the most troublesome upheaval in your life. Try to tie these up with anything you haven’t yet confronted in your writing. Really let go when writing, and be honest with yourself about what has happened. Do your best to wrap up the entire experience into a meaningful story that you can take with you into the future or leave behind in the journal.

Day five – If you wish to continue, start over from day one with a different thought, experience, or whatever is overwhelming you today and start thinking about the meaning of the story you are telling yourself. You can begin to edit your own story or narrative by telling it from your perspective, not from what others have told you.

*There are a couple of cautious notes when writing about overwhelming experiences and emotions. Firstly, you might feel worse when writing about your experiences for the first time. This is quite normal as it might be the first time you’ve “seen” your thoughts externalised on paper. Secondly, Pennebaker and Evans ⁷ cautions that it might re-expose you to your trauma or challenging experiences, overwhelming you further. If this is the case, consider seeking therapy as it may best suit your needs to explore your challenges further with a professional.

The other side to the overwhelm – dreaming of the impossible

When you feel ready to do so, I would also like you to consider exploring your hopes, dreams and aspirations. It doesn’t matter what they are. If you want to travel to the moon, then write it down. Write it down if you want to fly over Everest or climb it. It’s about letting yourself feel free to dream, to think about the unthinkable. It’s about what you really want out of life, writing about your future story.

While some of the dreams may feel unrealistic, it doesn’t matter. This is about having an idea of what you can achieve and working towards it, even if you don’t think it’s happening at the moment.

By writing about the things you have only dreamt of doing, you can start to find a pathway to begin your future. Only by feeling free to think and write about what you want, most of all, can we begin to find a way of making it happen.

So, if you have a spare notepad or journal, give expressive writing a go. You can even use your phone or computer if you feel that would make it more secure. Wherever you write, start writing about your story, find meaning and edit your future. It can really make a difference to your mental well-being.

Thanks to Aaron Burden @aaronburden for making the photo available freely on Unsplash

1. . Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing About Emotional Experiences as a Therapeutic Process. Psychological Science, 8(3), 162–166. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1997.tb00403.x
2. Jones JK, Evans JF and Barfield RC (2021) The Utility of Verbal Therapy for Pediatric Cancer Patients and Survivors: Expressive Writing, Video Narratives, and Bibliotherapy Exercises. Front. Pediatr. 9:579003. doi: 10.3389/fped.2021.579003
3. Mukhlis, H., Kristianingsih, A., Fitrianti, F., Pribadi, T., Kumalasari, D., Febriyanti, H., & Maseleno, A. (2020). The effect of expressive writing technique to stress level decrease of new students at Al-Falah Putri Islamic Boarding School, Margodadi, Tanggamus. Annals of Tropical Medicine and Public Health, 23, 192-200.
4. Jialu Qian, Xiaoli Zhou, Xueshan Sun, Mengwei Wu, Shiwen Sun, Xiaoyan Yu, (2020) Effects of expressive writing intervention for women’s PTSD, depression, anxiety and stress related to pregnancy: A meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials, Psychiatry Research, Volume 288,  112933, ISSN 0165-1781, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2020.112933.
5. Kilimnik, C. D. (2021). An online expressive writing intervention for the psychosexual well-being of women with a history of childhood sexual abuse : theory, mechanisms, and effectiveness in a randomised clinical trial. (Doctoral Dissertation, University of Texas). Available on http://dx.doi.org/10.26153/tsw/14743
6. Levitt, H. M., Collins, K. M., Maroney, M. R., & Roberts, T. S. (2021). Healing from heterosexist experiences: A mixed method intervention study using expressive writing. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/sgd0000478
7. Pennebaker, J.W and Evans, J.F. (2014). Expressive Writing: Words That Heal. Enumclaw, WA: Idyll Arbor, Inc.